Today I started with a new dentist. They are VERY thorough with their intake process, which I completely appreciate. I gave some examples of why I quit my old dentist to join the new. 

One such example: the fluoride upsell. As I told Sam, the lovely assistant that was x-raying and intaking away, the old repeatedly asked in the same visit if I’d like the fluoride treatment. I declined. Often and repeatedly. 

When it came time for Sam to recap what she had learned about me and my dental history with the doctor, Sam shared, “She NEVER wants fluoride treatment.” 

Well, hold on just a sec…

I knew exactly why Sam said what she did. 

But I needed to modify her declaration. 

It wasn’t about the fluoride itself, it was about the selling and up-selling and not listening to my repeated no thank you multiple times that had left a bad (fluoride) taste in my mouth. 

It was the fluoride experience that turned me off. 

Let’s switch out “fluoride” for “feedback.” 

Have you had a feedback experience that has turned you off, and now you are either verbally or subliminally sending out the, “I never want the feedback treatment” vibe?

Perhaps in your past, someone delivered feedback in a way that got you defensive, didn’t make any sense, made you emotional, was off the mark, had you ruminating, was unsolicited, was one-sided, or a mad combination of some of those and/or a host of other ways feedback conversations can go wrong.

As a result, you avoid feedback conversations. You most certainly do not solicit feedback. You’re wary of delivering feedback convos to your team in case one, or many, of the above, happen to them and you now perpetuate the cycle. 

Dr. Cavendish proceeded to explain the benefits of fluoride. How it works. Why it works. What could happen if I didn’t use it. The result of that experience–I said sign me up for it every single time. I’m down. 

If you’re avoiding the feedback treatment because of one (or multiple) bad experiences, I encourage you to take a chance and open up to the possibilities feedback conversations can unleash for you. 

When delivered effectively, with care, and with growth in mind, you can become aware of blind spots. You can tap into intrinsic motivation as you look to grow and improve. You can see things you’re not seeing which might open up new opportunities. 

Don’t lose sight of the benefits of feedback because of a poor delivery experience back in the day. 

Is it that you never want feedback again, or you never want the experience of back feedback? They are two separate situations. The latter can make you stronger, make you healthier in your position in work and in life, and open you up to possibilities. 

Just like my next fluoride treatment will do to my teeth.