I headed off to a new yoga class today, contemplating what I was going to share with you today. An oldie but goodie concept came to mind, “Stay on your mat,” and I thought, “Yes! That’s it!” 

It was a hot yoga class, and normally I stay away from that heat because, Florida. Well, it’s cold here this week, so there went that logic. I ventured out to the class and found myself looking around, checking out what sorts of people were there. What were they wearing? What were they like? What was their vibe? Then I thought: WHAT DOES IT MATTER, ERIN? WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU? What, if there are some hard-core yogis here, you’re going to leave? You’re going to do what exactly by assessing who is in the room? 

Nothing. 

Stay on your mat, Erin. 

(Enter teacher/student cliche…I get it.) 

The class was great. The teacher even threw in Abba’s “Gimme! Gimmie! Gimmie!” which really got me in my flow. While people were bird of paradising, and contorting, and doing what they do, I stayed on my mat, and did what I needed to do for me. 

We were towards the sweaty end, and Trevor the teacher, threw in a camel pose. For those unfamiliar, imagine kneeling down, then leaning back with your hands facing down on your butt-cheeks only to slowly reach your ankles and your head leaning back, gaze drifting up and backward over your head. Did your neck just spasm and did you just get vertigo? Did you panic about how you were going to get out of that pose due to lack of ab muscles and worry that you’d have to roll out of it or be stuck there in perpetuity because your body wouldn’t let you out of that shape all the while feeling your lower back tweaking, never to be the same again? Yes? That’s exactly what happens to me when I hear “camel pose.” 

So I said nope. I took an easy seat. I took some breaths. On my mat. Doing what I needed to do for me. 

“Doing what I needed to do for me.” 

It’s a theme that’s coming up for me. It stems from the question I’ve been reflecting on over the past month or two, “What do I want? What do I REALLY want?” 

Now, I’m not to get all Spice Girls on you and tell you what I really really want, but I am going to suggest that you put that question in your hopper and give it a ponder as you are doing what it is you do throughout your day. 

Ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?” Could be in life in general. In work. In your relationships. 

Contemplating that question made me realize a lot of things on my to-do list from last year were getting me things that I didn’t really want. (Or would have if I’d actually done them.) I realized I spent quite a bit of time working on things that were getting me places I hadn’t really intentionally thought about being, or the places I REALLY wanted to go. Advice from people. Knowledge from courses. Saying yes to things. But was it all for what I really wanted? For where I wanted to go?

I think I kind of forgot. Or lost my way a bit, as we do with the noise and the chaos and the pace of life these days. I’ve slowed down a bit over the past month, and I keep asking, “What do I really want?”

That question is now acting as my filter for what I’m saying yes to this year. What actions I’m going to take and not take. It’s not an exact science. From my experience, it’s not something you sit down and put a five-minute timer on and “figure out.” It’s a wonder-ponder type question that’ll hit you different in different situations. 

What do I really want? Then, how might I get it? 

Which leads us back to getting on and staying on our mats. 

We get to decide. We get to choose. Sometimes, it seems like that’s nonsense–your boss is deciding things for you. Your kids are dictating your schedule. Things have to be done a certain way, because that’s a) how they are or b) how someone said they had to be–and we have no choice or agency. 

I say THAT is nonsense. 

We have agency. We can make choices. We can decide who we are and how we are and how we want to be on our mats. 

What YOU need to do for YOU to get after what you really want. 

Do a little contemplating about what you want and what that looks like. Get on your mat and ground into that, and align around those thoughts. 

If your experience is anything like mine has been in the past few weeks, you just might feel freer, lighter, more focused, and more empowered to do you.