What’s Working? What’s Not? How to Own it Through Self-Empathy

by | Jun 17, 2022

What you’re about to read was not the regularly scheduled newsletter for the week. 

Speaking of that regular schedule…Yesterday I had the thought that perhaps I should change my “Welcome In” email to say something more accurate. Instead of, “You’ll receive an email in your inbox every Thursday…” to “You’ll receive an email in your inbox every Thursday except when it’s Friday, which happens about every third week when life throws a curveball.”

I’ve concluded that’s not the sort of excitement and confidence building message I want to welcome folks into this community with–so something has to give. 

Yesterday’s curveball came in the form of a town-wide internet outage–completely out of my control. What I can control? My response to the curveballs that life is going to keep lobbing across the plate. 

That response was the subject of my weekly reflection and debrief session in my journal. Friday mornings I answer the questions:

  • What’s working?
  • What’s not working?
  • What do I need to take responsibility for?

Not working: the consistency of Thursday delivery for my newsletter. 

What do I need to take responsibility for? Adjusting my publishing system so the inevitable curveballs don’t take me out and deny you your Thursday newsletter. 

That was the quick response. As my writing continued, I realized there was more to this story. Last night I nearly worked myself into a tizzy trying to decide if I should pack up the laptop and go search for internet, while juggling my appointments and deadlines and a fairly packed day. Luckily, Mike, my husband and calming force threw down one of his favorite mantras, “There’s always tomorrow.” I took a deep breath. Put down the computer bag. And sure enough, the internet is alive again today. 

Besides that exhausting tizzy-energy, I reflected on the mental grief I put myself through when I don’t hit “send” on Thursdays. The mental chatter that comes up of not being consistent, of not being disciplined, of not being committed. 

Now we can argue whether not hitting publish yesterday is really cause for me to doubt and question all of those things…but our minds like to go there–get dramatic and beat ourselves up. (Just me?)

Those assessments may not be true. What is true is the energy suck all of those thoughts. 

As I filled up a page in my journal, it became clear. The real reason I’m going to change my publishing system is to relieve myself of the shame spiral, the wasted energy, the disappointment I feel about myself when I don’t hit send on Thursdays. There are MUCH better ways to use my energy!

That is what I am taking responsibility for: my energy and thought patterns.  

Now, since it IS Friday, perhaps you can take out your journal or open up a doc and do a little reflecting yourself:

  • What’s working?
  • What’s not?
  • What do you need to take responsibility for?

Perhaps it’s a task you aren’t completing. I encourage you to start with the task and then give yourself a little self-empathy: how is this making me feel? Acknowledge that feeling, and then you can develop your fix from there. 

Until next THURSDAY, 

PS: If you realize something that’s “not working” is your team wasting a lot of energy being frustrated with your clients and not being able to connect with them to close that sale, the solution just might be to attend a Deflate, Relate, Elevate Workshop: how to create connection from chaos. You can click here to schedule a time to talk about what’s going on and how I can support you and your team.


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