I started off saying don’t be cynical.

I try to stay out of cynicism, with varied degrees of success.

I’ve been pretty intentional about that vibe as of late, so it was a little weird to feel it creeping in.

Then I realized what was on my mind wasn’t so much cynicism, as performatism. (It’s a word. I checked.)

Perhaps you, like me, have shed more than a few tears about Dolly Parton’s passing this week.
Perhaps you, like me, found yourself watching reel after reel of her beautiful words through song. Her witty, no-nonsense style. Those rhinestones! Clips from decades ago and times more recent–no matter from when, the essence was the same.

Within minutes of her passing it seemed everyone had updated their socials with a picture or a video or a post about Dolly. And I thought, “Here we go…” The performatism alert.

It seems like these days we all have to have an opinion on everything and we all have to share that opinion and if we don’t have an opinion on an issue then we’re against it or for it, whichever is opposite of the people that are shouting, “Why aren’t you saying something?! Your silence speaks volumes!” Sometimes we should just pause and reflect and not declare our everything on social and maybe we all can’t know all the things about all of the things–good and bad–in the world. Maybe sometimes it’s too much. But it sure seems like people are quick to fire off there memes and quotes and tokens on social. Performing…

So when I saw the posts within minutes of hearing the news that Dolly had passed there came the, “Here we go thoughts…” and then I found myself watching the reels. Watching the moments. Listening to her words. Taking in those outfits (!) and while I always knew Dolly had done some great things…I started to fully grasp the power and the presence and the purpose she had in life.

I realized the posts weren’t performative, but rather a way to show respect. To show, “Hey she impacted me.” To offer up something for a void that might never be filled–a person of Dolly’s stature (physical and personality-wise) again.

The irony struck that one of Dolly’s maxims (paraphrased) was “you do you.” You BE you. Whoever you are, however you are. Be you.

She lived that maxim in the most true, real way. Her whole life was that way of being–that way of being was her whole life.

As I thought about writing this week’s blog I thought, “Well now Erin, are you just being performative?”

My answer: no.

(You can have a different answer if you like!)

Earlier this year when I felt the cynicism creepin’on it, I took a Saturday morning Belle-from-Beauty-and-the-Beast type walk and the inspiration for “Butterfly Breezes” struck me. That if a butterfly flaps its wings, will it start a windstorm miles and miles away.

After that jolly stroll Saturday morning, I thought, what if we did those little things–say hi to each other, pick up trash when we walk by it on the beach, grab someone’s suitcase from the overhead bin if they’re too short–those types of things, the beautiful impact those Butterfly Breezes could have…a wind of goodness and light, building a force to keep the cynicism at bay.

Dolly Parton was a rhinestoned Butterfly Breeze in all of her glory.

I got to thinking, imagine if all of the people that posted on social about her, imagine all of the people who were touched by her (unsure of the real statistic but judging by the outpouring of love it might just be, I don’t know, EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE) did one little Butterfly Breeze in honor of her.

Imagine the storm that we could whip up! A storm of rainbows and butterflies and bedazzled everything, just like Dolly.

I’m known to say my work helps people “be the most you, you can be.” Dolly is a muse for that saying. Her unapologetic ownership of all of her gifts, her way of being, and her love and care she had for herself and everyone around her is the most spectacular example of the “most you, you can be.”

Her care, kindness, and love, is an example for all of us, if we had a choice, to choose how to be.

We’ve got the choice! I’m inspired to look for the breezes and act out my own…imagine if we all did the same.

This seems like as great a week as any to start a little ditty at the end of these newsletters to share some Butterfly Breezes. I started a note in my phone of moments I’ve observed or stories people tell me. Hit reply and share yours at any point!

🦋 The kid in the bathroom at the Nashville airport who pointed out which soap dispenser actually had soap, after I tried about 4 others. It was such a helpful little noticing!

🦋 My friend Eve’s son headed back to JMU (Go Dukes!) a few weeks ago. There was a little timing kerfuffle with the deposit check for his new apartment…as in it hadn’t arrived–but the money was out of the account. A quick phone call to the JMU Alum property manager resulted in a, “Here’s the key code! I know if you’re a Duke and your son’s a Duke, your good for it.”

🦋 There’s some weird gene in my mom’s side of the family that has to do with us a) always needing a project and b) half the time that project being out of our realm of physical possibility. Like my 81 year old mom moving her stone bench the other day…Or my Uncle John lugging a large load from Lowes to his truck, only to realize he couldn’t lift said load into his truck. To his rescue! A random dad encouraging his teenage son to run over and give a hand.