“What’s something you did well?”
That’s the question I ask after any sort of presentation/role play situation.
“Well, I didn’t throw up…”
“I wasn’t as horrible as I thought I was going to be…”
9 times out of 10 those are the responses I get.
UMMM, WE GOTTA DO BETTER PEOPLE!
Those are not things done well! I mean I guess not hurling is good, but not exactly what I’m after.
We are so self-judgy. We are so critical of ourselves. We’re so harsh on ourselves.
We immediately look for the bad or see the bad and while there are probably millions of reasons for doing so, we gotta stop the noise.
Enter Toot Your Own Horn Tuesday, or TYOHT as no one refers to it as…YET.
(And yes I’m aware this delight comes out on a Thursday but the inspo for the idea came Tuesday and I smacked it up on LinkedIn.)
TYOHT requires you to…TOOT YOUR OWN HORN. Talk about something great you did. Share an accomplishment. Pass on a thoughtful comment you got, an award you won…a thought you banished from your brain that was unhelpful.
I don’t really care what exactly…I just care that you’re tootin!
Now, the self-help-life-coach-influencer-complex will tell you to your problems will be solved if you stare into your soul in the mirror and say affirmations.
I TRUST IN MY ABILITIES TO SUCCEED.
I ACCEPT ALL PARTS OF MYSELF WITHOUT JUDGMENT.
I AM BECOMING THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF.
The thing about affirmations when we can’t even say something good we did after a low-stakes presentation…they are too grandiose. They’re too far off. There’s too much of a gap to fill.
Our brain is all yeah right, sweetheart, pffffttt, nice try, but no way José. You just judged the shit out of yourself and if that was the “best version?” You’ve got a long way to go…
How do we change this up? How do we bridge the gap?
We start to recognize ourselves, TO ourselves.
We start to acknowledge our own wins.
We start to own our awesome.
We stop diminishing our accomplishments and start taking up space.
Now you might think tooting you horn might be a MUCH bigger stretch than looking into your soul through a mirror, but we don’t need to be dicks about it.
It’s like my take on imposter syndrome: those who think they have it, don’t. Those who don’t think they do, just might be full on imposters. 🤨
Put it this way: there’s a whole lotta people on LinkedIn humble bragging. There’s a whole lotta people in your office taking credit for work that might be yours. There’s a whole lot of gold star-ing going on out there for things that are table stakes.
So let’s make it matter.
It being the work we do. The good we do. The impact we have.
Let’s talk about it. Share it. Own it.
TYOHT is your chance to share the great things you’re doing, because I’m sure you’re doing more great than you think. Somedays, great is: “I showered today.” Not kidding.
If you’re on LinkedIn post away there but if you’re not on LinkedIn (bless your soul) hit reply here! Even better! Share your toot-worthy moment and with permission, I’ll share a TYOHT every week to this community.
(Come to think of it, we’re going to switch to Toot Your Own Horn Thursday. The powerful acronym can stay!)
In sales, they say, “The first sell is to yourself.”
I say in life, the first sale is to yourself, too.
Believing ourselves.
Trusting ourselves.
Celebrating ourselves and our accomplishments.
Doing so makes us expansive, hopeful, powerful, curious, and open to possibilities.
It starts some pretty badass momentum.
And it’s so much less annoying and exhausting than constantly judging ourselves.
At least that’s how it’s worked for me. 😉