Have you ever picked up the phone for a sales call with a tornado of butterflies fluttering around your belly?
Have you ever walked up on stage at a conference with freezing cold hands, heart racing, feeling like you need to pee even though you just went to the bathroom five minutes before? (Just me?)
Ever log into the Zoom Room for a job interview glad that the interviewer can’t see your leg jiggling like jello off camera?
Or maybe you walked into a high-stakes meeting with a bunch of suits sitting there, staring back at you with their corporate poker face, and you’re thinking oh sweet Jesus how am I going to get through this?
I have a feeling the answer is “yes” to at least one of these scenarios.
Normal.
Uncomfortable.
Stressful.
What can you do to change up those feelings, sensations, reactions, and thoughts?
Three words.
Well, actually, 9 words. I’ll give you 6 of them. You get to decide the money words.
Your money words describe you at your best. They are you at your most grounded. They are how you want to show up. They are the energy and the vibe you want to bring in that situation.
For me, when I go on stage (be it a boardroom or ballroom) 90% of the time my 9 words are:
I am real. I am present. I am hilarious.
Real: this is a reminder that I am not some brainiac statistician. (No umbrage to brainiac statisticians. Thank God you exist, because this ain’t me!) I call it like I see it. I call out the BS. My knowledge comes from my experience. When I put on a different persona than this, disaster ensues.
Present: one of my talents is to be able to read the room: pick up on the energy, pick up on what’s happening in the audience. This is a blessing! Also sometimes a curse. Like when I look out into the audience and I’m like WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOK CONSTIPATED THEY THINK I’M INSANE AND ARE CONFUSED BY EVERYTHING I AM SAYING AND THEY DON’T CARE AND THEY ARE GOING TO START THROWING TOMATOES AT ME.
“I am present” keeps me out of this catastrophizing. It helps me think of my face, say, on a Zoom meeting when I look exactly like I have described above. I’ve come to learn this is my “processing” face. (Not my best look.)
“I am present” helps me stay in the moment. In the space. To read the room in helpful ways, which allows me to adjust, check in, change things up as needed.
Hilarious: note I do not say, “I am funny.” BECAUSE I AM HILARIOUS. 😂 Jk. (See there I am thinking I am hilarious.)
My husband is a man of few words. (Good thing because I am a woman of many!) I was prepping for a keynote a few years ago and was trying to be “funny,” to get the lines in to make sure I was being “funny.”
“Erin. Don’t try to be funny. You’re naturally hilarious. When you try to be funny, you’re not.” –Mike “Man of Few Words” O’Malley.
Noted!
“I am hilarious” reminds me that I do have the gift of humor, timing, and a quick wit. To trust that when it comes up, play with it, and to remind myself that laughing is good. So go be my naturally hilarious self.
Now, depending on the audience or the situation, the words might change up a bit. The three money words act as an intention and a way to ground into how I want to show up. They are a reminder of who I am.
The last day of The Extravaganza, right before the participants present for the last time, they say their three words out loud. You can see a shift in energy.
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I had a coaching client who was going through the job search process define her words and told her to say them right before her interview. (She got an offer!)
This practice works to get you out of your head and into your power in moments of pressure.
Define your three words. Give it a try before your next meeting, presentation, or conversation.
Notice the difference in what you say and how you say it.
Your money words make all the difference.
