I was up in Connecticut last weekend. Taking in some fall color and approximately 23423 niece and nephew sporting events.

The weekend was awesome.

If you asked my nieces and nephew what Aunt Erin is known for in the fam, my bet would be on two answers: hugs and Erin Advice™️.

The hugs have been described as “abnormally long and tight.” It’s a valid description.

The advice…well this is where the yelling comes in.

The sportsapalooza weekend coincided with another niece’s fall break from college. We met up and did a few laps around a park. The normal cadence of these convos is that she’ll “deflate her balloon,” aka say what’s on her mind and what she’s working through. I let her get it out, barely, and then I jump in with my thoughts and reframes and examples from my life because hmm the lessons all seem to intertwine at some point.

As we were on loop two around the park I realized I was winded and it wasn’t because of any incline. It was because, well, I was yelling.

Not like angry screaming yelling. More like impassioned I care about you and want you to see a different perspective and I’m fired up and when I get fired up I get LOUD.

It’s what I do.

I’ll notice during coaching calls when I glance at the Zoom screen and my clients have a sort of smile on their face that’s kinda happy but also strained and mildly scared and then I realize, oh, I’m yelling because I am SUPER FIRED UP about what they just did! In a good way!

After 13 years of marriage, Mike has almost come to understand that my normal tone is cheerleader-esque, and when I’m “yelling” it’s about something and not at him. 🤔

Or when I’m in a workshop and I notice everyone is sort of leaning back like a hurricane force wind has entered the room behind me…I realize the volume is way up and people are trying to lean way back because I’m “yelling.”
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If we took a random poll what I’m known for by randos, my bet would be my “energy” and my “enthusiasm.” Truth.

I get fired up. I’m from New Jersey. We yell and hand talk by way of being and it’s not that we’re yelling when we yell, we’re just LOUD.

On the plane ride home, I whipped out my journal and did a recap of my convo with Coco. There were lessons I shared with her that made me think. That were relevant to my circumstances. That shifted a few things for me.

I texted her as much and said sorry for yelling and she said, “Hey, you weren’t even yelling and keep it up because it inspires action!” and I was like, “OK THEN!” yelling in my head.

Then I came up with a yelling reframe:

“Spirited energy of a vocal variety.”

(I tried to make it into an acronym but just no.)

Because really, that’s what it is. It’s energy.

Or as one of my yoga teachers actually yells “IT’S ALL ENERGY! IT’S JUST MOVING THROUGH YOU! IT’S ALL ENERGY!”

Some people call it passion. I’ve got feels about that passion word to be discussed at another point or never.

The thing about energy, it can come in all forms. I get excited and red faced and hand flailing and loud. One of my dear friends gets quiet and thoughtful and you lean in on the edge of your seat hearing what she has to say because her style can move you like no other.

OK I guess I will talk about passion because that’s just it. When someone asks you what are you passionate about, it’s like oh, well, I must be loud and excitable and wearing a red flamenco dress and heels if I’m passionate about something!

You can be passionate and quite.

You can be passionate and subtle.

You can be passionate and not wearing a flamenco dress.

It’s not about the passion label. Or the yelling label.

It’s about the energy.

It IS all energy. We are all energy. People can feel your energy. Sense it. Pick up on it. They’re impacted by it.

How does your energy show up?

How do you own your energy?

I used to say, “Sorry I’m yelling!” Now I say, “I’m fired up and excited!”

Now I will say, “It’s my spirited energy of a vocal variety!”

There’s no need to apologize for how we are.

There’s no certain one “right” way of sharing your energy.

How would you define your energy when you are at your best?

Where can you own it?

When we connect with our energy, we connect with ourselves and show up powerfully.

For me, I embrace my energetic, enthusiastic, loud energy…just like those long hugs I’m known for.