“You helped me see that people aren’t judging us…”

I heard that feedback from a Leadership Presence and Impact alum.

Ummm, is there a recording? Thankfully no.

I am also 100% positive I did NOT yell, “No take backs!”

Because I’m taking it back.

People are judging the crap out of you at all times. (Feel free to forward this inspirational and motivational newsletter on to other professionals in your network who would like this sort of encouragement! 😉)

Maybe judging is a harsh word. Maybe we can rephrase and say people are picking up what you are throwing down at all times. Well, and then they are judging what they see.

It’s what we do. We look. We listen. We assess. We pick up signals. We pick up cues. We are meaning making machines and we are trying to make meaning out of what you are saying, why you chose that outfit, what that hand gesture means. All of it.

The original point I made during the Leadership Presence and Impact Experience aka the Extravaganza was that when you look out into the audience, be it your team meeting, up on stage at a conference, or before a presentation, people want the best for you. They are hoping you succeed. They are rooting for you.

It was a way to help settle the inevitable nerves that come up. A way to look out at that audience and assume a friendly crowd. Because if you are listening to people tell you to imagine the audience naked or any such nonsense, demand that they take that back because it’s not helpful and it’s mildly disturbing.

Perhaps it’s the eternal optimist in me, but I do still believe that people are in the audience or meeting wanting to learn! Wanting to be inspired! Wanting to shift something!

Heck, when I see someone speak, that’s what I’m thinking!

“I hope they do great!”

IMMEDIATELY and I mean immediately followed by “don’t waste my time.” #judgy

This is the conscious or subconscious filter that clicks on as soon as you walk on stage. As soon as they come in from the Zoom waiting room. As soon as you are in front of your team.

They’re thinking “Do-great-and-don’t-waste-my-time!”

Time wasting comes in the form of:

• Winging in because you’ve presented a million times before and know what you’re going to say. Winging it rarely works.
• Reading information from your slides, which in some ways is helpful because you have so much information on them I can’t read it to save my life because they are in 8 pt font but really, I liked being read to by Mom before bed when I was a kid, not as a grown up by you.
• Starting off with, “Goooooooooood morniiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!! GOOD MORNINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!” Instead of dropping into a story, grabbing my attention, and relating to me in a way that doesn’t make me lowkey angry.
• Hiding: be it behind a podium so I can’t see your body language or feel your presence or hiding behind notes or a script because “perfect” is better than pausing and trusting yourself.
• Putting on the corporate poker face so you can seem all stoic or reserved or whatever you think you need to be because you saw the CEO do that last week and so you guess that’s how you’re supposed to roll but you are anything but stoic and trying to do so makes the audience concerned that they should get on their phones immediately, open up the DoorDash app and get a rush order of MiraLAX delivered to the stage STAT because something is clearly causing that unnatural look on your face.
• Going for the emotional jugular within two minutes of your talk because you read that you’re supposed to be “vulnerable” and elicit emotions and, well, overshares and the like inspire emotional manipulation, which is not the vibe we’re going for.

Time. Wasters. You’re wasting my time. You’re wasting my potential to connect with you. You are wasting an opportunity to lead and inspire and create impact.

And that’s where the judgment comes in.

The thing is, this judgment has a purpose. This judgment is lousized with potential. This judgment is awareness! This judgment comes from a place of hope!

When we are aware that the audience wants the best for us and they are also immediately laying down high expectations, high hopes, maintaining high standards, and yes…offering up judgment, we can home in on what makes them turn on a dime (or over time) from being our biggest potential fans to our biggest naysayers.

We can learn how to open up a talk that gets people on the edge of their seats and leaning in within mere minutes.

We can learn how to plan with purpose and land your point through setting our intention.

We can learn how to show up authentically.

We can learn how to engage with them emotionally so they are feelings because we inspired them to be, not because we manipulated them.

Thinking of the audience as friendly and judgmental allows us to work on our craft, to plan and practice, to do the work that shows that we respect the people in the audience.

We don’t waste their time, we value their time.