“What do you do when there are people that are going to be in the training that think this isn’t for them and they already know it all, or don’t want to be there in general?”

Genuine question asked during a sales call two weeks ago.

Genuine response, incoming.

I gave them the lowdown on how I had worked on projects in automotive for a few years and was plenty aware of animosity, resentment, and general I don’t want to be here, care about anything you’re saying, and also you’re a woman why are you even here in our showroom shouldn’t you be home baking bread or taking care of the kids or something vibes.

Paraphrase: I handled them. I am sure I can handle what you got.

Then I riffed on how it’s my job as the facilitator and trainer to explain the intention behind what they’re learning, make it relevant to them, and do what I need to do from the get-go to design a relevant, actionable program.

Paraphrase: this ain’t my first rodeo.

I explained my style: my workshops are learn by doing and debriefing and intentional activities. AKA no cheesy trust falls or any random touching. Gross.

Paraphrase: most training blows and it’s some wonk wonk wonk reading PowerPoint slides, which I actively don’t use, but instead prefer a construction paper graphic and flip charts. There’s a reason people check out.

I pointed out that it’s one thing to come in thinking you know it all (no one does) and you have no blindspots (everyone does)…but when you are dropped into a dialogue (most people would refer to what I speak as role plays but that term gives everyone hives) and your skills are put to the test–it’s kind of a massive level set.

It’s one thing to talk about how awesome you are doing something. It’s another thing to do it and let the words, action, and behaviors speak for themselves.

Paraphrase: when the rubber meets the road, a real-time level set happens.

At this point, I was feeling pretty good about my response. Showing my experience, highlighting my methods, approach, and style.

Then I heard myself saying some stuff out loud to the client and internally I was like, “Whoa sister should you be saying this out loud to a potential client?” and apparently another voice in my head said, “Go for it.” Because I went for it.

The part I said out loud sounded like this: listen, I know what I’m doing. I’ll make it relevant. I’ll make it interesting. But I’m one half of the equation. The other half is out of my control.

The other half, the people in that room, can make a choice. If they chose to come in thinking I know it all, I am a pro, I don’t need this, this is for everyone else and not me, this is a waste of time…well, that’s their choice.

They are choosing that energy.

They are choosing that as their intention.

They are choosing that as their way to show up.

And if that’s how they’re going to show up? Well, that’s on them.

Paraphrase: this sounds more like a you problem then a me problem. 😳

I wasn’t as direct as that. However, when I got off the call, I wondered if I should have been? I thought about those automotive days and how many days I would find myself in the bathroom in tears calling a colleague commiserating because of how horrible those people were. (FYI I’m pretty tough. They were pretty horrid.)

One day I realized that crying in the bathroom was not a great use of my time. That I WAS tougher than that. That I had something to offer. That I would find a way. I distinctly remember the moment I said OK Erin. You’re going to walk into these dealerships and find one person. One person who wants to learn. One person you can impact.

And from that day on, I did.

Things shifted because I took control of how I showed up.

I was aligned in my integrity.

On that call , I got aligned again.

I didn’t make a bunch of false promises or guarantees. I owned what I would do to make the experience valuable and impactful.

I also owned what I couldn’t do: be responsible for how people showed up. Be responsible for other people’s attitudes or energy. Be responsible for them learning anything if they had the proverbial or literal hands over their ears screaming la la la la I can’t hear you.

That’s on them.

In these situations: meetings, workshops, conversations, presentations…you have your role to play. The participants/audience/your team have their role to play.

You are responsible for choosing your energy. Your attitude. Your intention.

They are ultimately responsible for choosing theirs.

My question to you this week:

Can you do an alignment check, as you might on your car. Is your energy, your attitude, or your intention drifting from you showing up fully as your highest and best self? Or does it feel aligned, grounded, and centered so you can show up full out and full on? (That’s the goal!)