I’ve finished up work with three coaching clients.
They all came to me for the same reason: they were getting video for a speaker reel.
They were all shaking.
Essentially 💩ing themselves.
They didn’t really know what to say, although they had a formula.
They didn’t really know how to say it, although they’d been taught some things.
They were already feeling the pressure. They’d paid a lot of money. They were told that this would be the video they could use to get them in front of audiences. There was a ton riding on this done-for-you.
They all received their recordings last week.
They all emailed me saying OMG THIS IS HORRIBLE I LOOK LIKE (fill in every description of how you wouldn’t want to look on video) I CAN’T USE THIS AND I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW BAD THIS IS.
I clicked on the first video, a little 🥴 because well, wasn’t I supposed to have helped them with this?
Watched first video: goosebumps and tears.
Watched second video: goosebumps and tears.
Watched thirst video: goosebumps and tears.
(To be clear, goosebumps are my indicator that you’re landing your point and these were happy tears!)
I’ll save the “we’re our own worst critics” newsletter for another day.
Today, I want to share with you what I shared with them, in a form of no-makeup, still in pjs video I recorded and sent off to them, yell-couraging them (that’s when I get so fired up I start yelling but really I am trying to encourage people) about what they had accomplished.
Now, I’m all about owning your shit. That is…not blaming the circumstances or being all victim-y. HOWEVER, sometimes the circumstances do impact how we show up!
Let’s break this down: they’re on stage. There’s an audience in front of them, which is supposed to appear as a normal audience except they are all speakers in the program, too, so your goshdarn right they are going to be nodding along with exaggerated verbal cues because that’s what they want others doing for them when it’s their turn. It looks totally forced and unnatural.
They’ve got a limited amount of time and can only do a few takes. #nopressure
They can’t really move around on stage, because they need to be in line with the camera.
They have memorized their script, because they had to send it in and it could only be a certain number of words and it had to follow an exact formula.
They’ve paid upwards of $25,000 for this program (which is more than just this video) so no small chunk of change.
Now, imagine you’re on stage at that moment. I don’t care who you are or what you do (I mean I do care but I mean you don’t have to be a professional speaker or want to be one to imagine yourself under these circumstances).
MY STOMACH IS IN KNOTS JUST WRITING THAT AND I AM A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER.
Then they get these videos back and go off on themselves for how bad they were which was just not true.
I did encourage them to go back to the video tape of our first calls when they were all freaking out and shaking and could barely even talk to me they were so nervous. They were like oh yeah right I forgot that part.
I did then yell-courage them to listen, ladies–these circumstances were not exactly the set up for success.
If you’re scripted, you’re too busy making sure you’re landing every word instead of letting the words flow through you–riffing and adjusting with what moves you.
If you can’t move, well, you can’t move. And not being able to move your feet while being told to project and take up room on the stage not only makes no sense, it is impossible. If you can’t move your body or work the stage, you feel confined which adds to everything feeling forced.
They had practiced and legitimately the progress they had made from working with me was remarkable. They all took my feedback and acted on it. They heard my thoughts and accepted some, pushed back on others, which is how it should be. They put in A LOT of work.
During our last run-throughs before they went off to get recorded, I watched and…wait for it…had tears in my eyes and jumped out of my office chair and gave them all standing-os. All three were SO STRONG.
They nailed their done-for-yous.
I told them all that I was 100% confident they could send those off to potential clients and feel proud and excited in doing so.
I also told them that the only way they were going to get better is more reps.
They practiced. They got feedback. They did the work.
Under some pretty tough circumstances, they owned it.
They got as good as they could…until they can do more reps. Until they get on stage again.
In yet another newsletter I’ll go off on why scripts don’t work.
For speeches.
In conversations.
For client calls.
For this newsletter, I want to acknowledge that my three ladies stuck to their scripts and made it seem as unscripted as possible.
For you all, I want you to realize that you can practice, you can get feedback, (you not only can but should do both of these things!) and then it gets to a point that you have to go do the thing. You’ve gotta get up on stage or in front of your peers or at a meeting or in front of a client and you have to go get in the reps.
It’s through the reps, then debrief, you learn. You tweak. You adjust. I don’t care how much practice you do, when you walk up on stage and 10 or 100 or 1500 people are staring at you, nothing can really prepare you for that.
You gotta put in the reps.
As I finished out my pep-talk video, I made it clear that under the circumstances, they all CRUSHED IT. I made them aware of all of the obstacles they probably didn’t realize they faced. I made it clear that they had given all they got and that’s as good as it could have gotten at that point and IT WAS PRETTY DARN GOOD.
And then….go get more reps.
I’m equal parts goosebump getting teary eyed mush pot as I am straight-talking, Jersey no BS yeller. (It’s a fun combo!)
I finished by saying, “You know I’m not going to bullshit you. So own your awesome and get out there and do it again.”
LMK if you want me to send you a video yelling at you to do the same. 😉
Where can you go and get a rep in this week?
Having a conversation you might be putting off?
Raising your hand at a meeting and saying what you want to say?
Opting in to be on a panel and sharing your ideas?
The options are endless. Go get in a rep and let me know how it goes.
